More tranny stories later!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
