Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
COCAINE IS GR8
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
