I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
