if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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