they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
