He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
