I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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