her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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