i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
