I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you will always have a special place in my vag
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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