Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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