walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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