Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
