My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Randomize
