hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
