its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
