halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
