Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
