How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
