life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
