if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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