I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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