I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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