If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Be still, my beating vagina.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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