Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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