Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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