GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
