Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
