'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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