Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
