i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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