We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
