Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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