there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found puke in my bra..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
