Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
