Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
