There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
