every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
