just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
