So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
