Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
