just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
