My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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