I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
