so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
