...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
