Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
