Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
