matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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