why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
