You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
